- Are you Little Caesars? Because you’re hot and I’m ready.
- I’ll show you my tan lines if you show me yours.
- I wish you were soap so I could feel you all over me.
- It feels like one of those nights where neither of us will get any sleep.
- I’m having trouble sleeping by myself. Can you help?
- Your clothes look uncomfortable. Let me help you out of them.
- I actually have a condom that’s about to expire—want to help me put it to good use?
- If you look this good in clothes I can’t imagine how good you’ll look out of them.
- Are you a rubix cube? Because the more I play with you the harder you get.
- Pizza is my second-favorite thing to eat in bed.
- I can tell you’re into yoga. Want to show me how flexible you are?
- Are you a blanket? Because I love when you’re on top of me.
- Sorry to bother you but: Do you have room for an extra tongue in your mouth?
- Don’t ever change. Okay? Just get naked.
- Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
- Just checked my phone battery, and it’s at 69 percent.
- Is that some Halloween candy in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
- If I was a judge, I’d sentence you to my bed.
- What are you doing tonight besides me?
- I love your outfit. I would love it even more crumpled in a heap on my bedroom floor.
- Is your name winter? Because you’ll be cuming soon.
- I wish I was your phone, so you’d be on me all day.
- Roses are red. Violets are fine. I’ll be the 6, you be the 9.
- Are you a Slytherin? Because I really want you to slither into my Chamber of Secrets.
- Are you a light switch? Because you really turn me on.
- I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.
- Are you butt-dialing me? Because I swear that ass is calling me.
- I’ve been trying to conserve more water…wanna shower together?
- I’m cold, can I use your thighs as earmuffs?
- Are you a woodchuck? Because I can totally see your wood.
- If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tonight.
- Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.
- Want to go halfsies on making a baby?
- Are you my homework? Because I’m not doing you, even though I definitely should be.
- Are you an elevator? Because I want to go up and down on you.
- You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
- What time do you get off? Can I watch?
- Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.
- I need a good place to think. Can I sit on your lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up?
- You’re on my to-do list tonight.
- That body is yours for the rest of your life. Can I have it just for tonight?
- Are you a sea lion? Because I can sea you lion in my bed tonight.
- TO GET LAID TONIGHT JOIN COUGARS FOR SEX